Review: Greencastle Golf Club (Part 1)

Not every golf course can be great. Not all of them can be good. Some aren't even average. Not every course can reach the median. Obviously. That's how medians work. Greencastle Golf Club, residing in the Pennsylvania town of the same name, is distinctly below average. I played it 20 years ago in a junior golf tournament, and while I couldn't remember much, I did remember it wasn't very good. And that's why I wanted to play it. I usually prefer to review the good golf courses, because wouldn't you know it, I usually prefer to play a good golf course. But I think it's also important to highlight the not so good. The silly. The dumb. The outright ridiculous. At the very least, bad golf gives me something to talk about. 

The first hole is a short par 4 at just 340 yards, which also plays significantly downhill. It might even be drivable for longer drivers, though with the green being blind from the tee it may not be the greatest idea to do so. There are no bunkers, but a slice hit over the containing mounds will likely disappear; left is much better, since that's just the ninth fairway. The green is medium sized and fairly flat, with bunkers short and left. It's a very gentle opener.

The first hole.

The first green.

The second hole is 380 yards and plays gently uphill the entire way. This is fine, and the fairway appears to be completely open. However, there's a blind pond left of the fairway, about 300 yards out. Many golfers won't have the length to reach it, so it's not a big issue, but some will, and so those longer drivers may want to use 3 wood. The green is partially tucked behind the pond and is fairly shallow, with a bunker also guarding the right side.

The second hole.

The second green.

The third hole is just under 200 yards and plays uphill to a green protected by what has to be the worst water feature ever installed on a golf course. Two waterfalls, one behind and one in front of the green. Not even the slightest pretense of naturalness. They're horrendously ugly eyesores that could never, ever exist in reality. Where would the water come from? They had a choice here, either include the hideous fake waterfalls or have grass on the tees, and they chose the waterfalls. Make sure you take an extra club or two, this hole plays long, but try not to be above the hole, as the green slopes pretty sharply from back to front. It wouldn't a good hole without the waterfalls, but man, it's sure a terrible one with them.

The third hole. I hate to shatter the illusion, but those waterfalls in front and behind the green? They're manmade. Reality is often disappointing.

The third green.

The fourth hole is the longest hole on the course, playing nearly 560 yards down and back up a large valley. The tee shot is very downhill, though it's squeezed slightly between a steep hillside right and a large bunker and O.B. left. There's space to breath, but not a lot. Don't go too far left either, or you'll end up blocked out by trees jutting out from the left side about 150 yards from the green. I doubt too many people go for this green, but you may end up with a longer third then you want. Then again, considering the multitude of bunkers short of this green, it's likely safer to lay back at 100 yards. Plus, the green being shallow, elevated, and basically completed fronted by a bunker, you'll want altitude on your third shot to ensure you hold the green. I wouldn't say this is a bad hole, but it is rather overcomplicated and busy. 

The fourth hole.

Approaching the fourth green.

The fourth green.

The fifth hole is 415 yards and plays significantly downhill. This one's so close to being decent, but instead it's just awkward. The tee shot is the issue here: The drive is hit through a needlessly claustrophobic chute of trees, with maybe 20-30 yards between them. Now, the trees left work fine, I think. They guard the corner of the dogleg and the ideal driving line. The trees right are the issue. Ideally, they'd be completely gone. That would offer golfers a choice: Hit a bold drive flirting with the left tree line or bail out safely toward the open right side with a wood or long iron. But, with the trees there, there's no sense of any shot being safe. So why not play aggressively? At least eliminate one group of trees by taking driver and aiming left. Also, considering the rest of the hole is extremely wide open, the tiny gap in between the trees feels silly. Anyway, if you've played fairly safely, you'll have a downhill short iron into a green protected by a pond left and a bunker right. However, if you play boldly, you'll catch a big downhill slope and run down, leaving yourself just a pitch or little wedge. Not the worst hole, but perhaps the most disappointing.

The fifth hole, featuring a completely clear view not obstructed by unnecessary trees.

The fifth green.

The sixth hole is what every non–low handicap golfer loves to see: A long par 3 that's 90% carry. At 215 from all the way back (190 from the next set up), the sixth presents a shallow, banana-shaped green and lots and lots of marsh in front of it. Not much to say about this one, it's just not a good or enjoyable hole. No interesting green or anything beyond "don't chunk your tee shot." Bland, uninspired, and honestly too difficult for the caliber of golfer playing this course.

The sixth hole.

The sixth green.

The seventh hole is a mid-length par 4 that is, to be honest, a bit awkward. The tee is set in dense trees, and the view off the tee is not very informative. You can't see the green, the fairway, and you can't even really tell where either are. The hole bends hard left at about 250 yards, so the ideal play is to that point (trees in the corner of the dogleg prevent you from cutting off too much, unless you can hit a massive draw), which will leave a downhill wedge or short iron to a bunkerless green with dense forest beyond. 

One would be forgiven for thinking otherwise, but the seventh hole is out there in this picture somewhere.

The eighth green. There's a hole there eventually.

If the previous hole was a bit awkward, the eighth hole is a tragedy in two acts.

Act 1: The seventh and eighth hole play parallel to each other in a very narrow corner of the property. Normally, when holes play so close to each other, they're routed in straight lines. But the seventh and eighth are both significant doglegs. This works okay for the seventh, where the turn comes at about 250 yards, but not so well for this hole, where the turn is optimistically about 200 yards out. This is a par 5, by the way. Your choices off of the tee are lay up with an iron or hit a driver over the heads of any golfers on the seventh fairway. Oh, and if you go through the fairway, you'll be in a group of houses.

Interlude: The fairway in the landing area, vague as it is, slopes significantly from left to right. That will become significant in a moment.

Act 2: The green location is apocalyptically awful. Key to the issue is a massive tree just short left of the green. Branches overhang about three-quarters of the green, which means you can't approach this green from the air from most of the fairway, not unless you've laid up specifically on the right side. You cannot hit this green in two if you've hit a good drive. Not on purpose or you're extremely, ridiculously precise. This is bad enough, but there's also a bunker in front of the green, which is quite shallow and angled from right to left. So you can't run an approach into the green either. Oh, and there's a runoff just beyond the green, which, if anything, is sloped from back to front. 

To put it simply, despite being a 470-yard par 5, it's likely the least scorable hole on the course. If you can make a par, you're doing great. 

A whole lot to see on the eighth tee.

Approaching the eighth green. Note the massive tree protecting the left side of the green. It's a beautiful tree, and I understand why it didn't get cut down, but good lord, don't put a green behind it. Especially when the fairway slopes from left to right.

The eighth green. And yes, this is an absolutely horrendous place to approach this particular green from.

The ninth hole, as a hole, is mostly fine. The drive is uphill to a narrow fairway, but with no fairway bunkers or any hazards, actually hitting the fairway isn't a huge priority. The second shot will be blocked by trees if you really slice one though. The second is also uphill to a green with three bunkers surrounding it. It's a long green, with a decent amount of back-to-front slope. No, what makes this hole silly rests about 100 yards short of the green. For whatever reason, a tiny patch of marsh splits the fairway in two. It's not reachable from the tee, so it's not exactly a strategic obstacle. It's just sort of there. And when I say tiny, I mean tiny. Like, 15 feet across. It looks horrendous. The only thing I can figure is its there for drainage reasons, but it's not even at a low point. Not really. It's baffling and comical.

The ninth hole.

The ninth green.

The patch of marsh splitting the fairway in two. Marsh can look good. This does not.

That's it for this week, next week we'll take a look at the back nine.