Why Am I Dreaming About Crappy Beer?

I wrote this for my actual job, and I like it, so I'm reposting it here because why not.

I dream of our corporate overlords

Advertisements are quite literally everywhere. On billboards, in commercials, in videos, in movies, the list goes on and on. Still, at least you can shut your eyes and be mercifully free of corporate interference inside your own head, right? Right?

Early in 2021, Coors (maker of cheap, mediocre beer) launched a ad campaign which seemed a bit of a gimmick and a joke. Watch an ad before bed, listen to an 8-hour soundscape while sleeping, and your dreams would be filled with Coors and their “refreshing drinks.” Now, the campaign didn’t really take off or go viral, but someone was paying attention: a group of 35 leading sleep and dream researchers, who published an open letter on the subject of corporate dream manipulation in June.

While people have tried to manipulate their dreams for countless years, it’s only been in the recent past that scientists have attempted to specifically target or manipulate behavior through dreams. For example, in a 2014 study, smokers exposed to tobacco smoke and rotten egg smell while sleeping reduced their cigarette consumption by 30%.

Most research into dream manipulation have been aimed at positive results, but the experts warn that there’s no reason corporations couldn’t use it for their own purposes, especially given the widespread usage of devices such as Alexa. They gave an example of a company playing a certain sound during a commercial, then replaying that sound through a device while people are sleeping to trigger a dream about that product.

The experts noted that the Federal Trade Commission could intervene to prevent companies from attempting dream manipulation, and have done so in the past to stop subliminal advertising, but as of right now, there’s nothing stopping big business from messing with your dreams. But hey, at least they’re not directly beaming commercials into our heads with gamma radiation. Yet.

What Would It Take To Change Earth's Orbit?

Not so long ago, a Republican Representative asked if the U.S. government had the ability to change the Earth's (or the Moon's) orbit to combat global warming. The simple answer is no, it does not. But what if we had unlimited money and resources? What would it take to actually move the planet further away from the sun. Well, someone's taken the time to find out. Basically, it would take 50 nonillion joules (that's 5 followed by 31 zeros) to move the Earth 3 million kilometers further away from the sun. That's a lot, especially when you consider that we produce only 10 quintillion joules a year (1 followed by 19 zeros). And 12 zeros is a lot to be short by. There are ways to get the energy to do this, such as setting off a nuclear bomb every second for 500 years (which would heat the atmosphere, defeating the whole point of moving the planet further out) or literally slingshotting the Moon into space for a speed boost (which would destabilize our climate, also kind of negating the point). There are a couple other methods mentions, but needless to say, none are any more practical, plus it doesn't change the fact that, as long as we continue producing too much greenhouse gas, we'd have to move the planet further out again. If this starting to sound like a Futurama episode, well, that's because it is.