It's time to check out the back nine at Tot Hill Farm, go here to see the front.
The tenth hole is about 360 yards, and the first impression you get on the tee here is of the rock wall on top of the ridge that extends well out into the fairway. While it provides a good deal of visual intimidation, it doesn't factor in all that much, as a driver can easily clear it and reach the widest part of the fairway. That will leave just a wedge slightly uphill to a very precarious elevated green that falls away on all sides. We're not talking about some small falloffs eithers, we're talking anywhere from 15 to 30-plus feet. You miss this green in the wrong place and you're staring at a very, very large number. I speak from experience on that one. Ping-ponging back and forth across the green as I vainly attempted to get a chip to stay put was not an enjoyable experience. I think you could even end up on the twelfth green if you were unlucky enough — it wasn't the case for our round, but the tenth and twelfth greens have been connected in the past.
 |
| The tenth hole. |
 |
| Approaching the tenth green. |
 |
| The tenth green. |
The eleventh hole is 185 yards from the tips, and while it does play a bit downhill, there's no getting around the fact that this is quite a long hole for the challenge this hole provides. The green, while quite large, falls away into hazards on all sides; it's effectively an island. There is no leeway either, as the banks are cut closely enough that balls will roll into the hazard. Ultimately, the green is less of an issue than the length of the hole; if this hole was 145 yards, it'd be fine. With a mid iron in hand, though, it becomes kind of unreasonable.
 |
| The eleventh hole. |
 |
The eleventh green.
|
 |
| This seemed like as good a time as any to demonstrate the absolutely labyrinthine routing of the back nine. I don't think I could adequately describe it in words. I have no doubt that this was probably the best option, but still, this is not a good routing. |
The twelfth hole is a mid-length par 4 and Tot Hill Farm's variation of the infamous fishhook hole that Mike Strantz loves so much. The fairway, while not exactly narrow, feels a bit claustrophobic with the pond left and trees right. Still, you obviously want to favor the left side to give yourself a shorter shot, and if you use a 3 wood, you can end up in the widest portion of the fairway. That will leave a wedge or short iron over the water to a peninsula green jutting far out into the pond. A miss long right will run back down onto the green, which is undulating to a reasonable degree. I have to say, this hole concept is more fun as a par 5; here, there's no incentive to gamble and the hole becomes a simple matter of "execute drive, execute second shot."
 |
| The twelfth hole. |
 |
| Approaching the twelfth green. |
 |
| The twelfth green. |
The thirteenth hole is video game golf brought into the real world. This 160-yard par 3 plays alongside a rocky (boy, are there rocks) stream, which lines the entire right side of the hole and presents a thoroughly formidable hazard. A grassy and rocky (naturally) hillside protects the left side. Then there's the green, which is very long, quite narrow, and features multiple sections divided by gigantic tiers; there's probably six or so feet of elevation change from top to bottom of this green. And we didn't even see this green in its final form, as there's a back right shelf that could be maintained as green but wasn't for our round. Trying to get a ball back to that hole location would be an absolute nightmare. Simply put, this hole is silly. The rocks were more than enough, I don't quite understand why we also needed to through the most insane green on the course here as well.
 |
| The thirteenth hole. |
 |
| The thirteenth green. |
The fourteenth hole is 460 yards from the tips (and a much more modest 360 yards from the tees most people will play), and plays to a fairway that is the very definition of sprawling. Seriously, it's all over the place, though it is pinched in significantly by rocks about 250-300 yards out from the back tees. Of course, we're still talking about 40 yards or so, so a driver into that narrow spot is perfectly okay. And you do want to be as close to this green as possible, as the approach here is the real challenge. The green, while quite large, is sloped significantly from left to right and falls away at the front and right toward a steep-walled valley. If you're unlucky, your ball will run a long way down and a very big number will likely result.
 |
| The fourteenth hole. |
 |
| The fourteenth green. |
The fifteenth hole is the shortest hole at Tot Hill Farm, playing 140 yards downhill to a narrow green wedged between a rocky hillside left and a stream right (complete with tumbling waterfall in the background). Happily, this green is relatively restrained, so if you do hit the green, birdie is definitely a possibility. Plus, since the hole is so short, the fact that there's precious little space to miss isn't nearly as big an issue as it is on the eleventh or thirteenth. Also, it undeniably looks good, though I'm not sold on the naturalness of the waterfall behind the green.
 |
| The fifteenth hole. |
 |
| The fifteenth green. |
The sixteenth hole emerges out onto an open and relatively flat field that contains the final three holes. This 530-yard par 5 bends right around trees to a fairway that narrows significantly as it goes until about 300 yards out, where a pair of bunkers cut in from the right. In addition, a stream borders the outside of the dogleg; all of this makes driver not really the play. It's far better to use 3 wood and accept this as a full three-shot hole than to try and work a driver into the narrow gap between the bunkers and stream. There's just no margin for error. Of course, that lay-up will be rather dull, as the fairway just short of the green is very wide and only the stream left provides any sort of hazard. The third will be a little wedge over the stream to a shallow green with a hillside (and a stone wall) just behind. Shots missed long will roll back down onto the green. While this hole is certainly a far cry from the insanity of 10-14, it's just not particularly good. There's only one real way to play it, and it's the most boring way.
 |
| The sixteenth hole. |
 |
| Approaching the sixteenth green. |
 |
| The sixteenth green. |
The seventeenth hole is 410 yards and plays to a relatively flat and extremely wide fairway. This is by far the easiest tee shot at Tot Hill Farm. However, it's not completely mindless either, as you want to favor the right side. That does leave a slightly longer second shot, but beyond having a more level stance, it's worth it. Despite being bunkerless, this green is modeled after the Road hole at St. Andrews (complete with stone wall and actual road just right of the green), with massive falloffs in front and left serving as approximations of the Road bunker. The green is long, narrow, and tilted so that shots from the right side have a better angle along its axis. It's a wild and extremely difficult green, but I think that's okay here, as the rest of the hole is very open and playable.
 |
| The seventeenth hole. |
 |
| Approaching the seventeenth green. |
 |
| The seventeenth green. |
The eighteenth hole is a big uphill par 5, playing 535 yards. The fairway is odd, proceeding normally for about 250 yards before shunting off right 50 yards, then coming back to the left as it approaches the green. There are some stone walls that I imagine Strantz wanted to incorporate, but it's just a strange fairway, as is the lone tree right in the middle of it all. It's not even an especially impressive tree, I don't know why it's there or why we needed to go around it.
A good drive is aimed just right of that tree, which will bring the green theoretically into reach. Practically, with the green being quite small and perched 50 feet up, I doubt too many people are hitting it in two. There's a big, deep depression just right of the green you very much want to avoid, so the safe play here is to hit a long iron up the left side; this will leave a fairly simple pitch into the green, which is sloped hard from left to right.
 |
| The eighteenth hole. |
 |
| Approaching the eighteenth green. |
 |
| The eighteenth green. |
Both of my brothers were quite firm in their assessment of Tot Hill Farm: It's the worst golf course they've ever played. It was goofy circus golf and the epitome of "the only things missing were the windmill and the clown's mouth at the end."
I can't quite bring myself to agree, however. Don't get me wrong, there are some truly ridiculous moments at Tot Hill Farm, particularly the first half of the back nine. But I honestly think the front nine at least (barring the fifth green) is pretty good. Wild, but reasonably playable for the most part. And the last four holes are also decent enough, even if I didn't care for the stream outside the sixteenth fairway. To me, the things that Tot Hill Farm does right outweighs what it does wrong. Plus, there's no questioning the ambition on display. Mike Strantz designs are many things, but dull is not one of them.
In terms of value, Tot Hill Farm is around $100 for a round, which is in line with Royal New Kent (True Blue and Caledonia, being in a vacation hotspot, are of course more expensive) and also about what I paid to play Mid Pines. It's more than I would like, of course, but not horrible for a course that had to be quite expensive to build (and maintain). But never has the phrase "I'm glad I played it once, but I never need to see it again" been more appropriate. It's just too much to deal with regularly. I do think this course is worth seeing, as much of it is a engineering and technical wonder, but it is not for the faint of heart, and there are some majorly dumb holes around. If you can accept that, Tot Hill Farm can provide some fun.
